10 Signs of Good Character
بسم الله والحمد الله
وصلاة وسلام على رسول الله
- By Ruh
1. Rarely engaging in argument
2. Treating people fairly
3. Not seeking out people’s faults and mistakes
4. Thinking best of what appears from people’s mistakes
5. Seeking peoples forgiveness
6. Bearing harm from others
7. Reproaching one self for shortcomings
8. Focusing on one's own faults
9. Have a cheerful presence
10. Speak well
The Prophet ﷺ said:
The greatest reminder one can give another is to be people of taqwa, which means to be aware of their Lord in every moment of their lives. This includes when we are among people or alone, in public or in private. We should always strive to be where Allah ﷻ wants us to be and never to have Him ﷻ See us where He ﷻ has forbidden us from being.
6. Bearing harm from others
7. Reproaching one self for shortcomings
8. Focusing on one's own faults
9. Have a cheerful presence
10. Speak well
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Fear Allah wherever you are, follow a bad deed with a good deed and it will erase it, and behave with good character towards people.”
- [Sunan al-Tirmidhi - Sahih]
The greatest reminder one can give another is to be people of taqwa, which means to be aware of their Lord in every moment of their lives. This includes when we are among people or alone, in public or in private. We should always strive to be where Allah ﷻ wants us to be and never to have Him ﷻ See us where He ﷻ has forbidden us from being.
CHARACTER -
This is a matter that none of us should feel that we have definitively attained, rather a goal that we must all strive towards. Just as we regularly update our phones or our cars, we must make sure that we update our character often and take this as a very serious matter that needs tending to.
The righteous scholars do not prioritize an outward progress over the inward, rather, their focus is very much on inward progress. In the modern world, we work towards an idea of progress that does not bring us true happiness as true progress is the progress of the soul, the moving up in degrees of the soul; a matter related to our character.
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (ra) said:
A man said: "O Messenger of Allaah, So and so (a woman) – and he spoke of how much she prayed and fasted and gave charity – but she annoys her neighbours with her (sharp) tongue.” He said: “She will be in Hell.” He said: “O Messenger of Allaah, So and so (another woman) – and he spoke of how little she fasted and gave charity and prayed – but she gives cheese in charity and she does not annoy her neighbours with her (sharp) tongue.” He said: “She will be in Paradise.”
- [Musnad Ahmad - Sahih]
Our physical form (khalq) is imprinted on us, we cannot do much to change it although shaytan will lead us to strive towards that and focus on it while we know how insignificant the physical form is:
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Verily, Allah does not look at your appearance or wealth, but rather He looks at your hearts and actions.”
- [Sahih Muslim]
In comparison, a great emphasis is put on our spiritual form:
"The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character."
- [Sahih al-Bukhari]
We must be convinced of the truth of this matter, we have to make that our criterion of how we interact with the world and the people. If someone has a flaw in their character it does not mean that we cannot take benefit from that person, it simply means that they are still developing. We must hold ourselves to account and when we fall short we must not justify our actions but turn to Allah ﷻ in repentance.
We are all imperfect, we will make mistakes, we will fall short in relation to these sins, but we must take ourselves to task and hold ourselves to this standard, and if we die falling short we are penitent, turning to Allah ﷻ with the hope that we will find His Mercy.
10 SIGNS OF GOOD CHARACTER - Commentary on advice from Yusuf ibn Asbat (rh)
1. Rarely engaging in argument
It is not a religious thing that we be engaged in arguments for religion or worldly matters and to have an argumentative nature.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“No people are led astray after being guided but that they indulged in arguments.” Then, the Prophet recited the verse, “They strike an example for you only to argue. Rather, they are a quarrelsome people.” (43:58)
- [Sunan al-Tirmidhī - Sahih]
'Whoever gives up telling lies in support of a false claim, a palace will be built for him in the outskirts of Paradise. Whoever gives up argument when he is in the right, a palace will be built from him in the middle (of Paradise). And whoever had good behavior, a palace will be built for him in the highest reaches (of Paradise).'"
- [Sunan Ibn Majah - Hasan]
“I never debated anyone but that I would love for him to be guided, directed, helped, and for him to be under the care of Allah and His protection. And I never debated with anyone but that I did not mind whether Allah clarified the truth on my tongue or his tongue.” - [Ḥilyat al-Awliya]
If we are constantly in arguments, we must question ourselves and look within to see why this is happening and work to correct it.
"If the soul is in need of pleasing its own ego, then oneself will argue with others in order to show that he's upon the truth thereby pleasing himself and in order to impress others, that this individual is indeed upon the truth.
However it's far from the truth, constant argumentation leads to hardening of the hearts, those without knowledge keep arguing as if they're scholars, but argue without the manners of the scholars.
With this intention, of gaining status, they destroy themselves, and also lead others to misguidance.
They delude themselves into thinking that they're arguing for the truth, yet are misguided because of their intentions and their lack of knowledge."
If we are constantly in arguments, we must question ourselves and look within to see why this is happening and work to correct it.
"If the soul is in need of pleasing its own ego, then oneself will argue with others in order to show that he's upon the truth thereby pleasing himself and in order to impress others, that this individual is indeed upon the truth.
However it's far from the truth, constant argumentation leads to hardening of the hearts, those without knowledge keep arguing as if they're scholars, but argue without the manners of the scholars.
With this intention, of gaining status, they destroy themselves, and also lead others to misguidance.
They delude themselves into thinking that they're arguing for the truth, yet are misguided because of their intentions and their lack of knowledge."
2. Treating people fairly
We should not be people of discrimination even though discrimination is prevalent in our communities. We should appreciate our diversity in cultures and ethnicity. Our differences enrich us and they are a sign from Allah ﷻ.
Allah ﷻ Says:
“O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honourable of you with Allaah is that (believer) who has At-Taqwa [i.e. he is one of the Muttaqoon (the pious)]. Verily, Allaah is All-Knowing, All Aware”
- [al-Hujuraat 49:13]
Allah ﷻ Says:
“Their reward with their Lord is ‘Adn (Eden) Paradise (Gardens of Eternity), underneath which rivers flow. They will abide therein forever, Allaah will be pleased with them, and they with Him. That is for him who fears his Lord”
- [al-Bayyinah 98:8]
We must be people of justice, be fair in our judgement and give people their rights:
“And let not the enmity and hatred of others make you avoid justice. Be just: that is nearer to piety”
- [al-Maa'idah 5:8]
We are a community of Ihsan and we should strive for Ihsan, part of which is that people should not need to demand their rights from us because we should be eager to fulfill the rights of others.
3. Not seeking out people’s faults and mistakes
The Prophet ﷺ said:
3. Not seeking out people’s faults and mistakes
The Prophet ﷺ said:
O community of people, who believed by their tongue, and belief did not enter their hearts, do not back-bite Muslims, and do not search for their faults, for if anyone searches for their faults, Allah will search for his fault, and if Allah searches for the fault of anyone, He disgraces him in his house.
- [Sunan Abi Dawud - Hasan]
We should not be seeking out the faults and mistakes of others. It may be that someone did not intend an error or did not pay attention. On the spiritual road we can make many unintentional mistakes and it is not a noble thing to search out these faults in others. We all make mistakes.
We must learn to show more mercy to each other and in turn we will be shown Mercy by The Most Merciful ﷻ:
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“The merciful will be shown mercy by the Most Merciful. Be merciful to those on the earth and the One in the heavens will have mercy upon you.”
- [Sunan al-Tirmidhi - Sahih]
We should expect that people will stumble, it is part of our nature. We do not seek out their faults, but rather do our best to cover their mistakes and ensure we are not from those that spread suspicion and gossip:
The Prophet ﷺ said:
'Beware of suspicion, for it is the worst of false tales and don't look for the other's faults and don't spy and don't hate each other, and don't desert (cut your relations with) one another O Allah's slaves, be brothers!"
- [Sahih al-Bukhari]
4. Thinking best of what appears from people’s mistakes
Sometimes a sin that someone does may become apparent to us. When that happens we should try to do one of two things:
a) Think the best of people when that happens and give them the benefit of the doubt and when no excuse can be made:
b) Find ways to veil them
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“..Whoever conceals the faults of a Muslim, Allah will conceal his faults in this world and the Hereafter. Allah helps the servant as long as he helps his brother...”
- [Sahih Muslim]
Hamdun al-Qassar (rh), one of the great early Muslims, said, “If a friend among your friends errs, make seventy excuses for them. If your hearts are unable to do this, then know that the shortcoming is in your own selves.” - [Imam Bayhaqi, Shu`ab al-Iman]
Abdullah ibn Muhammad ibn Munazil (RH), of the early Muslims, said, “The believer seeks excuses for their brethren, while the hypocrite seeks out the faults of their brethren.” - [Sulami, Adab al-Suhba]
When it comes to certain things like oppression, of course we cannot overlook, but for general errors, make excuses for them and veil them.
Imam al-Ghazaali (rh) said:
"If a person commits some shortcomings towards his brother that may lead to friction, there is no scholarly difference of opinion concerning the fact that it is better to overlook it and put up with it; rather if there is a way to interpret it in a good way and forgive him, this is what is required according to the rights of brotherhood." - [Ihya’ ‘Uloom al-Deen]
5. Seeking peoples forgiveness
We should always strive to forgive those who wrong us.
Allah ﷻ Says:
5. Seeking peoples forgiveness
We should always strive to forgive those who wrong us.
Allah ﷻ Says:
“But whoever pardons and makes reconciliation - his reward is [due] from Allah”
- [ash-Shoora 42:40]
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Show mercy, and you will be shown mercy; forgive, and Allah will forgive you.”
- [Musnad Ahmed - Sahih]
Also, we must strive to seek forgiveness for the wrongs that we do. If we are wrong then we have to have the courage to say that we are wrong and seek forgiveness for our shortcomings:
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Whoever has wronged his brother with regard to his honour or anything else, let him seek his pardon today, before there will be no dinar or dirham (i.e., on the Day of Resurrection), when if he has any good deeds (to his credit), some of his hasanaat (good deeds) will be taken in proportion to his wrongdoing, and if he has no hasanaat then some of the sayi’aat (bad deeds) of the one whom he wronged will be taken and added to his burden.”
- [Sahih al-Bukhaari]
6. Bearing harm from others
It is in our human nature to retaliate in kind, but it is from the best of characteristics to learn to bear harm from others, to pardon and be patient.
Allah ﷻ Says:
“Who spend [in the cause of Allah ] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good”
- [Aal ‘Imraan 3:134]
“If [instead] you show [some] good or conceal it or pardon an offense - indeed, Allah is ever Pardoning and Competent”
- [an-Nisaa’ 4:149]
“And if you punish [an enemy, O believers], punish with an equivalent of that with which you were harmed. But if you are patient - it is better for those who are patient”
- [an-Nahl 16:126]
“…who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves Al-Muhsinoon (the good‑doers).”
- [Ali 'Imran 3:134]
Allah ﷻ did not promise a tribulation free life, but He promised that if we turn to Him, He will sooth our pain and give us the ability to bear it.
Allah ﷻ Says:
So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief: Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.
- [ash-Sharh 94:5-6]
The Prophets, peace be upon them, went through immense tribulations and through those trials the best within them was brought out. It could be that your trials will equip you better to help those around you.
7. Reproaching one self for shortcomings
This is a foundation of the spiritual path, to never be content with oneself and knowing that we can improve. We should constantly try to refine ourselves and to reproach ourselves.
Allah ﷻ Says:
This is a foundation of the spiritual path, to never be content with oneself and knowing that we can improve. We should constantly try to refine ourselves and to reproach ourselves.
Allah ﷻ Says:
And I swear by the reproaching soul [to the certainty of resurrection].
- [al-Qiyamah 75:2]
Allah ﷻ takes an oath by the reproaching soul, signifying its importance. It so happened that many of the salaf missed out on doing good and they blamed themselves, and they thought that they should discipline themselves by doing more acts of worship and obedience. There were some of them who committed acts of disobedience and responded in the same way:
Imam Ahmad narrated, in a report classed as Hasan, about the story of the treaty of al-Hudaybiyah, that ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) questioned the Prophet (ﷺ) about the clauses of the treaty, then he realized that he had no right to do that. He (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “I carried on giving charity, fasting, praying and freeing slaves because of what I had done that day, for fear of the words I spoke, until I hoped that it was ultimately a good thing.”
- [Islamqa.info]
The salaf would impose certain acts upon themselves in order to overcome their shortcomings, as a means to purify themselves.
8. Focusing on one's own faults
We must focus on our own faults over the faults of others. This doesn't mean we should not advise, but our focus should be on our own shortcomings.
Allah ﷻ Says:
“O you who believe! Fear Allah and keep your duty to Him. And let every person look to what he has sent forth for tomorrow, and fear Allah. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what you do”
- [al-Hashr 59:18]
“Allah has kept account of it, while they have forgotten it”
- [al-Mujaadilah 58:6]
"If a man were to throw a stone into his house for every sin he commits, his house would be filled within a very short period of time. But he does not pay much attention to remembering his sins, although they have already been recorded against him."
9. Have a cheerful presence
We should strive to be people that are a source of uplifting those around us, people should feel good and happy in our company. The characteristics of the righteous friend include his cheerful manner, gentle speech, bigheartedness, generosity, suppression of anger, and avoiding arrogant behavior; he shows respect and expresses joy for what he is blessed with of the friendship and brotherhood of others.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Smiling in the face of your brother is your charity...”
- [Sunan al-Tirmidhi - Sahih]
“Verily, you cannot enrich all of the people with your wealth, but rather you enrich them with your cheerful faces and good character.”
- [Shu'ab al-Iman - Sahih]
"Do not belittle any good deed, even meeting your brother (Muslim) with a cheerful face".
- [Sahih Muslim]
“It is a smiling face, doing one’s best in good, and refraining from harm” - [Jami` at-Tirmidhi]
The Prophet ﷺ said:
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“The most perfect of the believers in faith are those who are best in manners and attitude, who are humble, who feel at ease with people and people feel at ease with them. He is not one of us who does not feel at ease with people and they do not feel at ease with him.”
- [At-Tabaraani - Hasan]
With a cheerful presence we can help to relieve people of their anxieties and show them the beauty of a serene heart.
10. Speak well
This is not regarding refraining from using foul language, an evil act which is forbidden, but rather the beautification of our speech.
Allah ﷻ Says:
O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name [i.e., mention] of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those who are the wrongdoers.
- [al-Hujurat 49:11]
We should not call each other by bad names but rather we should use honorable and beautiful names. We should also refrain from saying things that may have better alternatives or avoid speaking at all if we cannot speak good:
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him say what is good or remain silent.”
- [Bukhari and Muslim]
Al-Nawawi (rh) said regarding the hadith, “If he wants to speak, then if what he wants to say is good and he is confident that he will be rewarded for it, whether it is obligatory or praiseworthy, then let him speak, but if it does not seem to him that it is good or if he will be rewarded for it, then let him refrain from speaking, whether he thinks it is haram (impermissible) or makrooh (disliked) or permissible. Based on this, it is recommended to refrain from saying permissible words and we are enjoined to avoid this, lest it lead us into something that is haram or makrooh, which is what happens in many cases or in most cases."
Allah ﷻ Says:
‘Not a word does he (or she) utter but there is a watcher by him ready (to record it).’
- [50:18]
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