Praising others excessively

بسم الله والحمد الله

 والصلاة واسلام على رسول الله

- By Ruh

There are times we may meet people that we admire and feel compelled to praise them, but we do not always recognise that we may in fact be harming the one we admire as well as ourselves.

'Ata' ibn Abi Rabah (ra) reported:

A man was praising another man in the presence of Ibn 'Umar (ra). Ibn 'Umar (ra) began to throw dust towards his mouth. He said, "The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), said, 'When you see those who praise people, throw dust in their faces.'"

- [al-Adab al-Mufrad]

Hammam bin Al- Harith (ra) reported:

A person began to praise 'Uthman (ta), and Al-Miqdad (May Allah be pleased with him) sat upon his knees and began to throw pebbles upon the flatterer's face. 'Uthman (May Allah be pleased with him) said: "What is the matter with you?" He said: "Verily, the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, 'When you see those who shower undue praises upon others throw dust upon their faces.'"

- [Muslim, Riyad as-Salihin]

Imam An-Nawawi (rh) said, regarding excessive praise:

"The forbiddance is understood to be in regard to exaggeration in praise and adding to the description, or praising someone who is feared to become self-conceited or the like if he hears the praise. However, if this is not feared for a person because he is quite pious and has a sound mind and deep knowledge, then it is not forbidden to praise him in his presence without exaggeration; rather, if this leads to a benefit, such as urging him to do good or to increase his good deeds, or to be persistent in doing it, or to encourage others to imitate him, then praising him is recommended." - [Sharh Muslim]

The harm we cause the recipient of excessive praise is expressed as cutting the neck, something we would never want to do to those we admire:

Abu Bakr (ra) narrated:

A man was mentioned before the Prophet (ﷺ) and another man praised him greatly The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "May Allah's Mercy be on you ! You have cut the neck of your friend." The Prophet (ﷺ) repeated this sentence many times and said, "If it is indispensable for anyone of you to praise someone, then he should say, 'I think that he is so-and-so," if he really thinks that he is such. Allah is the One Who will take his accounts (as He knows his reality) and no-one can sanctify anybody before Allah." (Khalid said, "Woe to you," instead of "Allah's Mercy be on you.")

- [Sahih al-Bukhari]

The Prophet (ﷺ) taught us the correct way to praise someone if we were so compelled to do so. He (ﷺ) advises to us to say, "I think that he is so and so but I do not sanctify anybody before Allah". Not only can we never know about the internal realities of a person, but if the recipient were to believe such a thing that he was hearing then Allah (ﷻ) will take him to account for that. For example, if you tell someone, "you are so pious," and they start to believe it, this person can lose everything due to that, due to thinking he was something he is not, misled by the excessive praise of others.

Muawiyah (ra) narrated:

"I heard the Messenger of Allah(ﷺ) say: 'Beware of praising one another, for it is slaughtering (one another).'"

- [Sunan Ibn Maajah]

Al-Qurtubi (rh) said: 

“This because if the praised person was overpraised, then one fears self conceit and arrogance for him, so he will destroy his religion by these two great sins. Praising Is a means of one’s religious destruction therefore, it is forbidden. However, it will not occur except when a person is over-praised, but if the praise is little, it won’t be the cause of one’s destruction.” - [Al-Mufhim 6/627]

Shaikh ‘Abdur-Razzaq al-Badr (rh) said:

“A man praises another person, saying: You are such and such. He praises him with characteristics which are not in him, (saying) ‘You are the most generous person, you are… hoping to get his need fulfilled. Accordingly, Allaah’s wrath will befall him and he will return to his house with nothing of his religion with him. Perhaps nothing of his worldly matters will be with him. So, he did not attain his worldly matter and he lost his religion.” - [Explanation of the Book of Major Sins by Shaikh Muhammad ibn ‘Abdul-Wahhab]

It is clear that we must be careful when we praise people as we do not want to cause them harm through our carelessness. The Hanafi scholar Al-Khaadimi (rh) mentioned five conditions for praise to be permissible:

1. One should not praise himself, because praising oneself is not permissible. Allah says (what means): {…do not claim yourselves to be pure; He is most knowing of who fears Him.} [Quran 53:32]...

2. Avoiding excess or exaggeration in praising (which leads to lying)...

3. The person who is praised should not be dissolute. Perhaps if one praises him in order to get rid of his injustice or to get his right from him or from others through his help, it does not harm, because necessity renders what is forbidden permissible...

4. The praiser knows that praising that person does not cause him to be proud of himself or become arrogant; he knows this through signs and indications…

5. The praise should not be for a forbidden purpose or one that leads to corruption; such as praising the beauty of a beardless male or a female among non-Mahrams (permanently unmarriageable kin) to arouse them…"
- [al-Bareeqa al-Mahmudiyya]

Regarding what is meant by "throwing dust" at those that excessively praise:

Al-Manawi said:

“Throwing dust is like scolding the praising person and discouraging him from praising because of showing arrogance or he is disgraced by not being given what he seeks, or to be given little like the dust (for its littleness and meanness) or cut off their tongues by money which is a despised thing like dust.” - [Faid al Qadeer]